Monday, August 24, 2009

UFC for U and ME !!!!

Or... a (Kimbo) Slice of Heaven

I wasn't going to post today but figured what the heck... I actually got bored cutting the branches and the tree that fell up with my chainsaw... mmmmmmmmm... not to mention, I was sweating my [butt] off and the frigging saw dust and dirt were sticking to me like flies on [feces].... great feeling, btw... NOT !!!!!

Anyway..... U. F. C. ..... Ultimate [Frigging] Catastrophe ???? Although it fits in more ways than one - WRONG !!!!!!!!!!!

ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP
So what is it???? I won't tax you with the boring details... those you can find by visiting the link... But, for those interested, here's my nickel tour.....

In a nutshell... UFC is the absolute pinnacle of MMA... uh Mixed Martial Arts, fighting... like, the ultimat tough-guy competition... kinda like the major leagues are for baseball... They even have Joe Rogan (uh, Fear Factor dude) doing commentary and Bruce "It's SHOOOOOOOOOOOWTIME" Buffer, as the ring announcer... NOT to be confused with Michael "Let's get ready to rumble !!!" Buffer... although, they ARE brothers... go figure !!!!SOOOOOOOOOOO??????????

So, it is one of the fastest growing "sports" today... and definitely in MY top 5... it is brought to the public almost exclusively by Spike-TV.. the SECOND most watched channel in my house.... AH, what a great network Spike is, airing a UFC marathon this weekend !! - although I HAVE seen episodes on NESN too... and of course there are Pay Per Views every 4 or 5 weeks - of which I've rented 2 out of the last 3...

BUT WTF IS IT !?!?!?! Basically it's boxing, kick-boxing, wrestling and every other form of hand to hand combat rolled into one... but trust me... you will NOT see a "flying body press" or a "drop toe hold" here.. no sirree... but you may see a "superman punch", a "flying knee", a "rear naked choke" or an "arm bar" as the goal is to beat your opponent so bad he can't continue, knock them out, choke them into unconsciousness, or make them "tap-out" (submit).

Two men from a variety of backgrounds - wrestling, jiu jitsu, karate, kickboxing, etc etc - are tossed into a hexagonal shaped ring with the sole purpose of beating the [crap] out of each other. Non-title bouts are 3 rounds of 5 minutes each.. (although it is rare to see) while title bouts are 5 rounds - 5 minutes each.

They do wear gloves... BUT they are 4 or 6 ounce open fingered gloves... compared to 12 or 15 ounce closed boxing gloves... the official word is that the sole purpose of the gloves is to protect the fighter's knuckles - they certainly don't protect the other fighter's face.

If you're lucky, you will also see lots of blood - uh, REAL blood... from REAL strikes - punches, knees, elbows, kicks, forearms, etc - not the "pull-away" strikes as seen in "sports entertainment"... actually whether you consider it lucky or not... you WILL see lots of blood. And upon occasion, as was the case this weekend, you'll see a combatant refuse to quit.... only to suffer a dislocated elbow.... POP !!!! or shoulder or knee...

Broken noses are a given and even the best participants have indistinguishable ears from years of bludgeoning - I hope they like cauliflower !!!!!! ... as pretty much the only strikes not allowed are head butts.... well... and shots to the "nads".

They officially list 31 rules.... but that is grossly over-exaggerated... a lot of them don't pertain to the actual fight... and a lot of the rules that DO pertain to the fight aren't even enforced !!!

The original "version" of the UFC didn't involve different weight classes so it was common to see a 160 lb man fight a 260 lb man - that's just not right, and I had no interest in THAT. Today the have 5 or 6 weight classes so at least the fights are fair - or as fair as they can be....


From what I can decipher, the only way to make it to fight in the pinnacle is to be invited or by competing on (and hopefully winning a spot) "The Ultimate Fighter".... which is the UFC's reality series... and a must watch for any fan of this "sport".... this man....
will be competing this season. If anyone can name him, I'll give you a prize. No wait, all I have is a pot to pee in.... NO I DON'T... I gave THAT away last week...

Either way, I wish him luck as I DO know who he is... although relatively unknown... YET !!!!!!!! But I'm sure heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar will find out... oh, what a night THAT will be !!!!!This guy just "smells" bad... uh, you know what I mean....

Nuf Ced


2 comments:

therealbobthought said...

i think that might be, little known, but well respected, hard to find, but seldom seen Isaiah Dwhupass.
Am i close?

Penny said...

Sigh. You know how I do love the MMA...

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