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Gahdening 107 - or Charlotte's Web or BEEing 747
Whew... it's been awhile(Staind anyone?) since a GAHDEN post... I'm sure you've all missed them so much... HA !! Anyway... here goes nada !!!
So, I'm out in the garden the other day... doing what all gardeners do... actually, I have no frigging idea what REAL gardeners do... but whatever... I was wading through the "sea of green" zucchini leaves looking for uh.... ZUCCHINI !!! The plants are so thick with leaves that sometimes I don't see the actual squash until they are more like baseball bats... or Bambi beaters... actually, Bambi hasn't reappeared... typical chick... show her my "junk" and she heads for the hills... oh well..
Back to the matter at hand [infer NO references here, k?]... So ANYWAY, as I bent over to part the "sea" (Holy Garden, Batman !!), I came face to uh.... face?... with a garden spider. WOOOOOOEEEE Nelly !!!! .... or Charlotte, I guess would be more appropriate.... "Bleck bleck bleck" as I "calmly" peeled the sticky web from my face while falling back on my haunches.....
OOOOOOOOO WEEEEEEEEEEEE, THAT was close.... a bit shaken... but not stirred... I started to chuckle while the palpitations subsided.... "WTF dude ?!?!?! You're afraid of an itsy bitsy spider ?!?!?!" Uh.... NOOOOOOOO !!! .... but I contemplated doing a rain dance, none the less (uh, sing the rhyme, you'll get it)...
Finally back to "normal" I continued to "garden" when all of a sudden I heard this "noise".... (click the link before continuing... it'll make this so much better) Is it a bird??? NO !!!! Is it a plane??? uh, NO !!! then WHAT THE ?!?!?! It was a frigging bumblebee... not your ordinary bee mind you (I watch those all day) ... this one just rolled off the assembly line at Boeing !!!! This thing was the size of a hummingbird... YES, I know the difference !!!!!
"Holy [crap]" is all I could muster as I hit the deck with a resounding thud... of course Snoopy thought it was all a game... ah, the life of a dog, HE tries to eat them... of course I pretended that it WAS a game so he wouldn't know I nearly [crapped] myself... apparently he wasn't buying into it though.... it didn't take him long to sniff my butt....
Now my heart was in my throat... gardening is hazardous to your health. Remind me to check the health risks the next time I pick a hobby...
After the air traffic subsided (or my heart returned to it's originally location), I picked myself up, dusted myself off (literally), turned to Snoopy and said, "I think that's enough gardening for today bud.... let's go eat some curds and whey"...
Nuf Ced
So, I'm out in the garden the other day... doing what all gardeners do... actually, I have no frigging idea what REAL gardeners do... but whatever... I was wading through the "sea of green" zucchini leaves looking for uh.... ZUCCHINI !!! The plants are so thick with leaves that sometimes I don't see the actual squash until they are more like baseball bats... or Bambi beaters... actually, Bambi hasn't reappeared... typical chick... show her my "junk" and she heads for the hills... oh well..
Back to the matter at hand [infer NO references here, k?]... So ANYWAY, as I bent over to part the "sea" (Holy Garden, Batman !!), I came face to uh.... face?... with a garden spider. WOOOOOOEEEE Nelly !!!! .... or Charlotte, I guess would be more appropriate.... "Bleck bleck bleck" as I "calmly" peeled the sticky web from my face while falling back on my haunches.....
OOOOOOOOO WEEEEEEEEEEEE, THAT was close.... a bit shaken... but not stirred... I started to chuckle while the palpitations subsided.... "WTF dude ?!?!?! You're afraid of an itsy bitsy spider ?!?!?!" Uh.... NOOOOOOOO !!! .... but I contemplated doing a rain dance, none the less (uh, sing the rhyme, you'll get it)...
Finally back to "normal" I continued to "garden" when all of a sudden I heard this "noise".... (click the link before continuing... it'll make this so much better) Is it a bird??? NO !!!! Is it a plane??? uh, NO !!! then WHAT THE ?!?!?! It was a frigging bumblebee... not your ordinary bee mind you (I watch those all day) ... this one just rolled off the assembly line at Boeing !!!! This thing was the size of a hummingbird... YES, I know the difference !!!!!
"Holy [crap]" is all I could muster as I hit the deck with a resounding thud... of course Snoopy thought it was all a game... ah, the life of a dog, HE tries to eat them... of course I pretended that it WAS a game so he wouldn't know I nearly [crapped] myself... apparently he wasn't buying into it though.... it didn't take him long to sniff my butt....
Now my heart was in my throat... gardening is hazardous to your health. Remind me to check the health risks the next time I pick a hobby...
After the air traffic subsided (or my heart returned to it's originally location), I picked myself up, dusted myself off (literally), turned to Snoopy and said, "I think that's enough gardening for today bud.... let's go eat some curds and whey"...
Nuf Ced
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