Gardening 104 - or Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

So, I'm out in the garden the other day... doing what all gardeners do... IGNORING all sense of life's responsibilities !!! ... Anyway, I am inspecting the sunflowers to see if they have started to bloom yet, "... When my eyes beheld an eerie sight.."... SO, I saw this little "monster" (see pic) crawling on the leaves. "...And suddenly to my surprise, he did the mash ." Well, he crawled around on the leaves at least. The "daddy long legs" wanted nothing to do with it. Actually I didn't either !!!!!!!!



Curiosity may have killed the cat (thank gawd), but I NEEDED to know what this thing was - so, I did what anyone would do... I "GOOGLED" (wow, that sounds dirty). Assuming it was some sort of beetle, I searched "beetle"... go figure!!! To my surprise and dismay, I go to this site.... uh, beetles.com, I think. Not really but something like that... or "Acme Bug site dot com" (get it???), maybe it was.. Modern "mentality" makes me think that you can put ".com" after anything and there will be a site.. HMMMMMMMM !!!!

Anyway, I go to the site and WOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEE !!! Apparently "beetle" is practically synonymous with "insect" (bug). In scrolling the 120+ sub-categories for beetles, it appears that every bug known to man is classified as a beetle !!!!!! including ladybugs, fireflies etc etc etc. This saddened me a bit as I have never thought of beetles in a very positive light - I guess THAT changed my thought pattern.

So, I finally find "who" I think this little guy most resembles. Apparently, a "long-snouted acorn weevil" has visited my garden !!!!! Weevils wobble but they don't fall down !!!!
WHY ME !!!!!!!! According to the site, they eat nuts (rut roh, I may be in personal danger here !!!) so what the heck is he doing on my sunflower - besides chasing away that daddy long legs.... In any event, I flicked him with my finger back into the woods where he belongs !!!

Garden now "safe" from this "monster" (actually the body was less that 1/2 an inch), a frightening thought crossed my skull.... MY MOM IS COMING TO VISIT IN LESS THAN 2 DAYS !!!!! just kidding... I had to chuckle to myself as I could hear her now... "Home-grown vegetables taste so much better than store-bought..." HA !!!!!!!! C'mon Ma, SOMEONE had to grow what we buy in the store, no? And I kinda like the added flavor of the insecticides industrial farmers use......I don't know about tasting BETTER, but they sure taste CHEAPER!!!!

-Nuf Ced