Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Blunderdog - or "I don't wanna fix screens, I wanna be a Dentist" (EH, BLOGGER)

There's no need to fear......... !!!!!!!!!

So I have this Beagle... I'll call him... Snoopy (cuz that's his name - actually it's Snoop Dawg). Apparently, he's been named Scrappy and Sammy previously - I adopted him from the dog pound. Snooper will be 6 (42 for me and you) in September - and STILL only weighs 25 pounds !!! .... 25 pounds of sheer terror mind you.... or sheer terrified Beagle !!!! (more to follow)
It all started 2-1/2 years ago when I decided it was time to have a dog - after living the cat nightmare for years. So I scoured pet-finder ads and saw that the New London "pound" had a Staffordshire Terrier mix for adoption (I wanted a "man's" dog !!!) I drove my chariot to the pound and entered the "holding area". So, I part this canine sea of ferociousness to find the dog from the ad. It was a bit unnerving walking past all the teeth and drool as EVERY, well ALMOST every, dog there was trying to tear through there cages to get at me... man's best friends, my butt. They were like caged animals... oh wait, they WERE caged animals... Note to my "friends" at the pound... that's NOT how to act if you want to get out of the "slammer". Ever heard of "good behavior"??????
As I retreated to exit, feeling that my trip was a waste, I noticed this very small, VERY CALM Beagle sitting on his cot. I HAD to stop and at least say hi to this cute little thing. He had this Mona-Lisa expression and "puppy dog eyes", as if thinking, "You don't want any of these other ["idiots"], 'Take me home tonight'" (Eddie Money, anyone?)
So, I CAUTIOUSLY put my hand near the cage to see his reaction... half waiting for Cujo to explode out of this cute little guy too.... but nope !!!! He approached the cage, gave me a quick sniff and proceeded to lick my hand through the chain link - and secured himself a place in my heart. I WAS SOLD - or HAD!!!!

Although my "mission" was to adopt a larger dog, I settled up with Tanya, the tattooed, pierced, Harley riding Dog Warden of New London - nice as hell, but WHEEEEEEEW !!!!!!!! - and brought Snoopy (I ALREADY named him) to his new home.
A few things have become apparent over the last 2-1/2 years:
1) Beagles (or THIS one at least) are NOT sporting dogs !!! He epitomizes (probably COINED) the term, "It's a dog's life !!! Talk about lazy.... he'll sleep all day - actually HE DOES !!!! - well, except to eat (and do his "duty") and EVERY TIME I leave the room !!! I have trouble sitting sometimes cuz he's so far up there !!!! I'm SURE my butt is shaped like a Beagle..... tho I don't dare look !!!! Cling-on Warrior !!!!!!!!!! Wow, I wonder if he's scared of "my" ghost....
2)Although a Beagle, Snoopy is the world's worst "gun-dog" - he's PETrified of loud noises. No, I do not own a fire-arm, but thunderstorms, fireworks etc ???? if you're looking for Snoop, look under my desk - or up my butt !!!!
He has no fear of other dogs however.... ALWAYS trying to bite dogs 4 or 5 times his size. Uh, pick on "someone" your own size Snooper, it'll be less hazardous to your health !!! Small guy mentality at it's best... or small BRAIN !!!!!! The pound must have toughened him up...
3) Snoopy HATES screens.... you know, like screen doors and such. As mentioned in an earlier post, I was fixing my basement screen door the other day.... marking the SIXTH screen I have repaired over the last 2+ summers. The funny thing is, Snoopy doesn't go through the screens to get out - HE GOES THROUGH THEM TO GET IN !!!!!!!!! He truly isn't "right" !!!! Note to self... don't put the dog out and then fall asleep on the couch !!!! My bad.... Sorry, pupski !!!!
Oh, rest assured...Snoopy has a "routine" when he has to go out and no one is home... he shreds the rugs in front of the doors... and the door casing - high fiber diet !!!! Imagine the "damage" I could be repairing if I actually had adopted a "Cujo".........

Oh well, he has a few "quirks" but I wouldn't trade him for the world !!!! These quirks often make me wonder what his life was like prior to the adoption.... sad to think about it, but that's all over now BUDDY !!!!

Ha, wait until I tell Snoopy I blogged him !!!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

No matter what they do to make us wonder "why did I ever decide I would get a dog" they are worth it... the companionship and love they give us far outweighs the little negative things we have to deal with. Suggestion... put in a dog swing door.. might save a few screens..??!!

twilightmom75 said...

john - you're a hoot!

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