UFC

Ultimate F[reaking] Catastrophe

VS.

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Ok, this needs to be said.... Wait, let me rephrase that... I NEED TO SAY THIS !!!!

Last night's Ultimate Fighter preliminary match was unquestionably the WORST fight EVER in the Ultimate Fighter, UFC and MMA as a whole !!! It was total bull[crap].... and not because Kimbo Slice lost, but the way he lost...

Kevin "Kimbo Slice" Furgeson, the menacing looking, backyard brawling internet legend with almost NO MMA training was paired (THAT's an understatement !!) off against Roy "Big Country" Nelson, an experienced MMA combatant and former IFL title-holder. And boy does that nickname suit him. His BIG FAT Burger Belly hides his "Johnson" !!!!

The match was a farcical charade of blubberdom - true I was rooting for Kimbo but Big Country didn't want anything to do with fighting. All he wanted to do (and did) is smother Slice by laying that "menacing" belly right on Kimbo's face.

I'd be willing to bet that not a total of 10 punches was landed in the entire match. About 3 or 4 minutes into the 1st 5-minute round, Nelson took Kimbo down, laid that blubber across Kimbo's face, held one arm and pinned the other arm with his knee - a move known as an Iron Cross. Then all he did was LITERALLY pat Kimbo's head repeatedly. [Freaking] Slice couldn't move with that 264 lbs of blubber laying across his upper body and luckily got saved by the bell.

Ok, whew... made it through the round. Round 2 opened with Kimbo actually landing a couple of punches and seemed to stun Big Country.... Big Country's defense??? YOU GUESSED IT !!! That tub of lard got Kimbo down, put him in the same Iron Cross and again PATTED Slice on the head repeatedly. The match was called on a TKO win for Nelson... Kimbo couldn't budge this fat [butt] off his face... and based on an MMA rule couldn't intelligently defend himself. COULD YOU ???

To top it off..... Big Country proceeded to ask UFC President Dana White for a Double Whopper with Cheese.... WHAT A DB !!!!!!!!! This guy is a disgrace to the "sport" of fighting and should be ashamed of himself... Actually Dana White should be ashamed of himself, too.

This contest was highly tauted for weeks as the biggest fight ever on the Ultimate Fighter - by White himself !!! Even the other contestants were filmed talking to each saying that this fight SHOULD be the main event on a Pay Per View...

What a shame that Dana White is even considering letting Blubber Boy fight in the pinnacle of MMA fighting - HIS UFC. It's also a shame that Nelson's belly came between Kimbo Slice and his chance to move on in the competition... and his chance to breathe !!!!

To Kimbo's credit, he was a much more gracious loser than Nelson was a winner, humble in his admittance that he needs more MMA training. And to tell you the truth, I had a lot more respect for him even before that disgraceful match. The program showed the real Kimbo Slice...uh, the gentle giant, very philosophical in learning things about himself just by being given the time to reflect.

So, this gentle giant is out of the Ultimate Fighter competition..... OR IS HE !!!!

Thanks for stopping in for a visit. It's just my opinion, so please PAHDON it. Y'all come back now, ya heah !! Nuf Ced

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UFC for U and ME !!!!

Or... a (Kimbo) Slice of Heaven

I wasn't going to post today but figured what the heck... I actually got bored cutting the branches and the tree that fell up with my chainsaw... mmmmmmmmm... not to mention, I was sweating my [butt] off and the frigging saw dust and dirt were sticking to me like flies on [feces].... great feeling, btw... NOT !!!!!

Anyway..... U. F. C. ..... Ultimate [Frigging] Catastrophe ???? Although it fits in more ways than one - WRONG !!!!!!!!!!!

ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP

So what is it???? I won't tax you with the boring details... those you can find by visiting the link... But, for those interested, here's my nickel tour.....

In a nutshell... UFC is the absolute pinnacle of MMA... uh Mixed Martial Arts, fighting... like, the ultimat tough-guy competition... kinda like the major leagues are for baseball... They even have Joe Rogan (uh, Fear Factor dude) doing commentary and Bruce "It's SHOOOOOOOOOOOWTIME" Buffer, as the ring announcer... NOT to be confused with Michael "Let's get ready to rumble !!!" Buffer... although, they ARE brothers... go figure !!!!SOOOOOOOOOOO??????????

So, it is one of the fastest growing "sports" today... and definitely in MY top 5... it is brought to the public almost exclusively by Spike-TV.. the SECOND most watched channel in my house.... AH, what a great network Spike is, airing a UFC marathon this weekend !! - although I HAVE seen episodes on NESN too... and of course there are Pay Per Views every 4 or 5 weeks - of which I've rented 2 out of the last 3...

BUT WTF IS IT !?!?!?! Basically it's boxing, kick-boxing, wrestling and every other form of hand to hand combat rolled into one... but trust me... you will NOT see a "flying body press" or a "drop toe hold" here.. no sirree... but you may see a "superman punch", a "flying knee", a "rear naked choke" or an "arm bar" as the goal is to beat your opponent so bad he can't continue, knock them out, choke them into unconsciousness, or make them "tap-out" (submit).

Two men from a variety of backgrounds - wrestling, jiu jitsu, karate, kickboxing, etc etc - are tossed into a hexagonal shaped ring with the sole purpose of beating the [crap] out of each other. Non-title bouts are 3 rounds of 5 minutes each.. (although it is rare to see) while title bouts are 5 rounds - 5 minutes each.

They do wear gloves... BUT they are 4 or 6 ounce open fingered gloves... compared to 12 or 15 ounce closed boxing gloves... the official word is that the sole purpose of the gloves is to protect the fighter's knuckles - they certainly don't protect the other fighter's face.

If you're lucky, you will also see lots of blood - uh, REAL blood... from REAL strikes - punches, knees, elbows, kicks, forearms, etc - not the "pull-away" strikes as seen in "sports entertainment"... actually whether you consider it lucky or not... you WILL see lots of blood. And upon occasion, as was the case this weekend, you'll see a combatant refuse to quit.... only to suffer a dislocated elbow.... POP !!!! or shoulder or knee...

Broken noses are a given and even the best participants have indistinguishable ears from years of bludgeoning - I hope they like cauliflower !!!!!! ... as pretty much the only strikes not allowed are head butts.... well... and shots to the "nads".

They officially list 31 rules.... but that is grossly over-exaggerated... a lot of them don't pertain to the actual fight... and a lot of the rules that DO pertain to the fight aren't even enforced !!!

The original "version" of the UFC didn't involve different weight classes so it was common to see a 160 lb man fight a 260 lb man - that's just not right, and I had no interest in THAT. Today the have 5 or 6 weight classes so at least the fights are fair - or as fair as they can be....


From what I can decipher, the only way to make it to fight in the pinnacle is to be invited or by competing on (and hopefully winning a spot) "The Ultimate Fighter".... which is the UFC's reality series... and a must watch for any fan of this "sport".... this man....
will be competing this season. If anyone can name him, I'll give you a prize. No wait, all I have is a pot to pee in.... NO I DON'T... I gave THAT away last week...

Either way, I wish him luck as I DO know who he is... although relatively unknown... YET !!!!!!!! But I'm sure heavyweight champion Brock Lesnar will find out... oh, what a night THAT will be !!!!!This guy just "smells" bad... uh, you know what I mean....

Nuf Ced

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